I’ve had somewhat of a rough day.
It’s been an emotional week.
I’m not sure why….just lots of stuff coming up (and hopefully out) for me.
This weekend I have been grieving a major loss from many years ago. A loss that I had never really recognized as such before.
I had a very special friend during my teen years. I don’t really want to share about my teen years. Let’s just say they were rough and I didn’t have many friends, except this one. I lost this good friend when I was 18. That was a particularly rough year for me. My Grandmother died. I graduated. I lost my best friend and I didn’t say goodbye.
My best friend was a horse. He was quiet and calm and gentle and loving and beautiful. I showed him during my teen years. When I quit showing, he was sold at an auction. I couldn’t face that loss, so I didn’t. I don’t remember crying. Who could I cry to when my best friend was gone?
Today I am crying.
Today isn’t very convenient for these tears, for this pain.
Grief isn’t convenient.
I am choosing to share this because of what happened in church today.
I was feeling all of this and trying not to. I was trying to come back to the present and hear what was being said in the service. I was also feeling overwhelmed by the story of Easter. It’s really more than I can fathom or process on a good day. It’s way too much for my soul to take in today.
So I turned my heart and my attention to God, to Jesus, and tried to listen with my heart and my mind. These are the sweet words that I heard from my Precious Lord and Savior.
He didn’t remind me that He died for me.
On Easter Sunday, He comforted me over the loss of my horse some 30-odd years ago.
His Love is far beyond my comprehension.
You will be okay, My Sweet Child.
Don’t be afraid to feel this pain and sorrow. It will pass.
I love you, Sweet Child.
Let Me pour My Love into you, through you.
May you also be overwhelmed with His Sweet Love for you today.